Hiya! I made this yesterday for a cheese obsessed 8-year-old, it went down well and inspired me to get the kids making sugar mice out of fondant as a Christmas activity.
I wrote this after a friend told me how unfair she thought it was that when people spoke about the church that they just dismissed all the old people that went, as if they didn’t count, as if they didn’t have souls too. I happen to have a large soft spot for allot of the regulars I see tootling off everyday. They’re some of the sparkiest people I’ve met and they deserve a little credit.
Those pews are all empty,
And draughty and creaky,
There’s only old folk,
Is that Latin they’re speaking?
You wouldn’t make nowt,
On a ticket towt to church,
It’s just an old bird box for biddy to perch,
It’s not a grinding,
Hive of youngsters now,
That’s not the sort of atmosphere,
A Bishop would allow,
Busy in the manger laying,
And lets all ignore what they are saying,
Because no one goes to church,
Only the old,
And with age comes stupidity,
As we’re often told,
But while we malign,
The blue rinse brigade,
Their precious wee pensions,
Prop up Christian aid,
They’re incensed with incense,
To quit common sense,
And drop that 45 pence,
That they can’t afford,
On to the collection plate,
While we’re all bored,
Thinking what’s the harm,
And sleeping on our arms,
Dreaming of frappuccino nights,
And getting into fights,
About just how right we are,
Because we boast,
That those old people are just ghosts,
With shackles of belief around their throats,
Crooning choral notes,
And how we laugh,
Because to death they are close,
And we are so enlightened,
We don’t owe faith to anyone,
God? There isn’t one!
And on Sunday morning,
Nothing must be done,
But while malign,
The blue rinse brigade,
They’re precious wee pensions,
Prop up Christian aid,
And that as your grandmother,
And that was her life,
And it’s not just the young,
And the Godless who strive.
I have to put a break on the doodles for quite a while I’m afraid. The reason(s) being it is the end of term and all of my modules are going off into the meta realms of designing your own 2000 word essay question that is weighted as 50-70% of your mark and I am shi- umm not very good at making my own questions. And I am working this weekend as it is the Lincoln Christmas market; speaking of which I must buy a Christmas jumper we need to be Christmassy. Then there is the dreaded dissertation which I have done nothing to writing wise since early September and I haven’t read anything since reading week. The panic is rising. So no blogging and no doodles, until at some point I will have a massive splurge on the blog of all the back log because I am adamant that I will have 52 doodles. Typically the inspiration has returned, when I have a lot of work to do. Really clever, well done to me.
And his trousers are too taut,
Dr Sinner’s backed a winner,
And he’s passing around the port,
The government is garble goop,
Jerry’s sleeping in his soup,
And the vicar dropped a match,
Harry is engaged,
He’s looking dreadful fazed,
Get the red stuff down his hatch,
The lovely house is praised,
A napkin is ablaze,
A hoot of laughs and joke-ary,
The general’s pipe id tapped,
The Vicars back is slapped,
To stop his violent choke-ary,
Now Marbles lays a bet,
Can’t stand arty farty dinner parties,
But best not leave the women unattended,
Or they’ll all turn Suffragette.
As is rather obvious I am late with the doodle this week. Just a heads up its going to be very late and may have to wait till next Friday again. Many apologies but I wanted to do a good one and not the sketchy in between lectures stuff I have been doing.
Hopefully I will procure something on Thursday or Friday because I have those days off and I will have finished my essay so I will have time to do something. And with any luck my inspiration may make another appearance – if there’s a blue moon soon.
Some people like their brownies to be rich and truffle like in texture, I say leave it to chocolate truffles to be truffle like, they’ve got it covered. The truly great brownie, in my opinion, is gooey and chewy and obviously chocolaty. This is that brownie.
And just to rock the boat even more, I’ve added mint matchmakers to these bad boys for a bit of tingling goodness, I bloody love mint chocolate any day of the week, but you can really just add any chocolate sweets you like and see what happens.
You will need;
75g coco powder
125g self raising flour
Matchmakers or any other chocs you like (optional)
Gently MELT the butter in a saucepan. Weigh out the coco, sieve if necessary and STIR it into the butter. This will smell like heaven. Add the vanilla.
In a separate bowl BEAT together the sugar and eggs. Make sure the butter mix is cool and COMBINE the two mixes. Then gently FOLD in the flour and you have your brownie batter.
POUR the batter into a lined tin and if you like submerge some matchmaker chocolates into it. BAKE in the oven for 40 minutes at gas mark 4. Don’t over bake it, you ant it to be gooey and chewy when it cools.
Display ostentatiously on a plate with a dusting of icing sugar and a sprig of mint.
Today, I have been an idiot. Like hugely idiotic but technically in a completely unobtrusive way that no one else would have realised at all until I said something. And in saying something I decided to put it on the small corner of the internet I call home. This morning I woke up and it was 8:29 and I needed to leave by 8:35 so I was desperately getting ready and I’d turned down the radio because its on really loud as one of my alarms in the morning.
What does this have to do with me being an idiot? I heard this snippet “2.5 miles across, traveling at 40,000kph” and I’m quite sure I heard the word comet or asteroid or I made them up. And I really stopped and just thought is there something heading to earth? And then I’m British and its shows, I carry on regardless, and continued to rush around getting ready trying to calm myself down from panic thinking rationally On no account would they announce that on the radio so calmly and it wouldn’t have been the second to last news announcement. And then of course I decided well in the words of Tom Lehrer “We will all go together when we go” .
I should point out here that in the 15 minutes it took to get to uni I had definitely decided that it was unlikely that my suspicions were correct for that morning.
And as a nice break here, here is for your delectation and delight Tom Lehrer, this I realise is a massive insight into my music tastes on the blog. Tom Lehrer and the Worst Witch who’d’ve thunk it?
So yes I spent the first 15 minutes of my pondering whether we were about to do a replay of the dinosaurs. And thus avoided all reputable news systems including facebook and the BBC until I could be sure by gaging the reaction of Lincolners in the early morning rush hour and the students who were there early in the library. I didn’t tell anyone what I thought; partly because I didn’t want to ruin their day and partly because I really hoped I was wrong but at that point was too unwilling to look like an idiot and have it told to me the rest of the day.
Feelings of idiocy began to rise throughout the day but I still refused to check the news just in case and there wasn’t anyone in for half the day if it was announced and I would have no one to panic with. So I waited until 8:30pm to go on the BBC homepage, we landed a module thing on a comet. Having just told my housemate what I thought this morning and the reality of what was actually going on, I’m very glad I did not tell anyone today because she gave me this look which plainly and rightly said “You Idiot”.
It was an interesting way to spend the day, constantly thinking of reasons why I would have heard this half phrase on the radio in the morning and it gave me very interesting insight into my view of human psychology which is
My own view of my psychology I am far too prone to panic. I really need to work on that. And I need to wake up better in the mornings because I was still half asleep when I got up and I think that was a contributing factor.
And now back to work, again.
Elinor (the monumentally stupid)
PS Just in case you were wondering I’m not usually given over to thinking the world is about to explode etc.
HELLO BLOG! So sorry again it shows I do not love you enough. Not much has been happening here except work, work and more work. Although I have now started volunteering doing this digitisation project for Lincolnshire Archives, so I sit for two hours on a Wednesday in a freezing cold room scanning in these little acetate rectangles with plans for 3V oil engine pump foundations and arrangement, etc etc. Yes unfortunately I am kinda enjoying it, it’s a nice break from having to read huge blocks of peoples work and analyse what their saying and what it means in context of their time and then in the context of the past. Although I’m not sure I want to do this for the rest of my life, if I was I want more people in the office. Also owing to the non-stop working rounds I have no real time to draw you lot anything nice so I’m afraid you will have to carry on for a while with the sketches I do between lectures.
Although this time I coloured them in for you with pencils. Aren’t I a nice blogger? And anyway I need to get to work now I have a lot to do today.
It’s that ghoulish time of year again, where witches fly and black cats roam and frights are going to get you! Mwhahhahhahhahhahhahhhaaa!!! *cough-cough* A-hem, do excuse me, I can’t quite tell what came over me. It is Halloween today and the pumpkins are coming out to play! No okay I’ll stop now, sorry. I’m on reading week, its sooo good! Except for my annotated bibliography, which is incredibly confusing and a piece of utter…poo. Regardless of that taint to my nice week un-timetabled and un-restricted by seminar reading, in honour of the consumerism that has engulfed this day this is my treat for tonight,
And what I really want to do is spend the evening watching The Worst Witch, my favourite song from this series. Yes I am that strange.
Whether I’ll be able to do this I’m not sure I do live in a student house. And here is the horror of the Witches Brew! Otherwise known as my dinner, yes another cooking fail. Although my housemate also suggested that it was Zombie maggot vomit. Before you feel really ill about what on earth I have been eating it was in fact tomato, sausage and pepper risotto that I was reheating.
Anyhoo, for you doodle this week I have gone with a theme (like you couldn’t have guessed it from the rest of this blog post) the mice are debating the virtues of certain Halloween costumes to see if they can pass unnoticed in the Big Wide World in front of the skirting boards and steal a few tasty morsels.
Happy Halloween! Watch the bats, these ones bite!
connoisseur of fine cake
MATCHA at NOON
Reader. Fangirl. Nerd
life fashion & more
Ranting poetry, sweary poetry, boozy poetry
I'm Lawrence Thorogood and welcome to my blog. I hope you find this a good read and if you have any questions please feel free to leave a comment and I will get straight back to you.Thank you ever so much. If you want to contact me email me at ThorogoodLawrence@gmail.com or follow me on Twitter @ThorogoodL and like me on Facebook www.facebook.com/MrThorogood
Writer, Lawyer, Connoisseur of Poor Decision-Making.
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