It Can’t be 15 years

‘My God, I don’t believe it,
Look who I’ve found in the crowd,
If my eyes don’t deceive me,
That’s the lovely Pam Mcloud,’

‘Hello! I’m sufferin’ from a cold John,
So you better keep you’re distance’
But he gives her a good squeeze,
And she offers no resistance,

‘You haven’t aged a day Pam,
It must be fifteen years,
Sit your bum down there love,
And I’ll get us in some beers’

‘Oh, I just natter with the girls,
When I’m down here at the local,
As a matter of fact John,
I’ve gone Teetotal,’

‘God have you? Good on you,
To be honest it’s just as well,
‘cuz now I’m over forty,
I find the hangovers are hell,
But we’ve got to have a catch up,
Have you got the time?
Tell us how your son is,
And I’ll get a coke and lime,’

‘Well Mike has gone to Cardiff,
He seems happy down in Whales,
Got a degree in sociology,
But ended up in sales,
How are things with you Johnny?
Heard you tied the knot with Lin,’
‘No, not gone as far as that yet,
But we’re thirteen years in sin.’

‘Weddings are expensive, Sandra may-
Remember her?’
‘Of course’
‘Well she paid through the nose,
For hire of a horse,
Supposed to trot her up the green,
Where they’d do it all alfresco,
But got startled by a bendy bus,
And stampeded into tesco!’

‘Ha ha, you’re kidding Pam’
‘No honestly, I’m not!
You should have seen her face,
As she sped up from a trot,
But these great big animals,
They don’t belong in cities,
He took her up the biscuit aisle,
Started munching the Mcvitees,
I think it cost four hundred quid,
To put it all to rights,
One bridesmaid wet herself for laughing,
Had to lend her my spare tights,
But then again I never could regret,
Being an honest wife by Denny,
Though in those day not us nor bridesmaids,
Would ever spend a penny,’

‘I remember, I borrowed the family good suit,
Went looking like a waiter,
Granddad popped his clogs and was buried in it,
About a fortnight later,
We all grow up so fast Pam,
One day you’re egg and sperm,
You blink your eyes, you drop your guard,
And you’re doing tax return,’

‘Now Johnny that’s all in the head,
You mustn’t let those thoughts feaster,
I even use control pants, I’d swear I’m only six parts Pam,
And four parts polyester.

What you mean is, how did fifteen years go by,
Never mind who’s old or fatter,
But how did fifteen years go by,
Without our friendly chatter?’



About Gwen and Elinor

Two bloging buddies who love tea and biscuits.
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3 Responses to It Can’t be 15 years

  1. Anela says:

    I love this! 🙂

  2. Pingback: Talent – it’s out there. Go and see. | Thinking Love, No Twaddle

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